Family Led Funerals

• Do we have to have a funeral?
• Do we need to have a funeral director?
• Can we make our own coffin?
• Can we decorate the coffin?
• Can we keep our person’s body at home after they die?
• Can we wash or dress our person’s body?
• Can we dig the grave ourselves?
• Can we use flowers from our garden?
• Can anyone conduct the funeral ceremony?

There is no legal obligation to engage a funeral director when planning a funeral for your person. Funeral professionals can offer support and guidance, but you have the right to fully control the process. It’s about understanding your options, asking the right questions, and choosing the right people – those whose support feels right for you and your community.

What is a Family* Led Funeral?

A family led funeral is a term used to describe a funeral practice where the person who has died is cared for by the family and community from the moment of death, through to the delivery of the funeral ceremony, and up to the disposal of the body. This encompasses everything from a complete do-it-yourself approach (where there is no, or minimal, involvement from funeral professionals) to a blended approach where the care and organisation are conducted as a shared arrangement between the family and their chosen professionals. This is distinct from the contemporary or current western process of funeral and ceremony where families are ‘directed’ entirely by a funeral business. In a family led funeral, the family ’directs’, they choose if and how a funeral business will support them.

Family-led funerals are not a new concept—in fact, just a few decades ago, they were the norm. However, within today’s commercialised death care system, families reclaiming the care of their dead is often seen as ‘unusual’ or even ‘new’, despite its long-standing tradition.

Families who choose a completely DIY approach retain full control over their person after death by providing home-based death care (see our info sheet Home Based Death Care). They play an instrumental and active role in organising any rituals or ceremonies and are responsible for ensuring all necessary paperwork is completed and submitted. Effectively, they LEAD the funeral. The family set the pace and they decide what their farewell will look like. They become the designers of a deeply personal and meaningful experience.

However, there are many important steps between the moment of death and the final disposition of the body. These may include collecting the body from the place of death, completing and lodging legal paperwork, providing care for the body at home, choosing or making a coffin, encoffining, arranging transport to a cemetery or crematory, and coordinating the final act of burial or cremation. Each stage involves thoughtful decisions and practical arrangements.

The important thing to know is that, in most states, families and communities CAN take on all of these responsibilities themselves—or they can CHOOSE which aspects they wish to manage and which they’d prefer to delegate. Increasingly, funeral companies, end-of-life doulas, and independent funeral celebrants are offering flexible, supportive services for family led funerals.

When a family chooses a family-led funeral, it’s essential to clearly define the level of involvement—if any—from professional death care workers. Roles and responsibilities around planning, decision-making, and logistics should be agreed upon in advance, with a clear plan of action in place. Much like the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” a home funeral—particularly one without outside assistance—requires a strong, supportive, and well-coordinated team.

Below is an outline of the key steps typically involved in a Family-Led Funeral. The family or community supporting the deceased can decide which of these responsibilities they wish to take on themselves, tailoring the process to suit their needs, values, and capacity.

Between Death and Disposal of the body… what needs to be done?

The first and most crucial step is to confirm…” Are they really dead?”.

While it may seem straightforward, the actions that follow will depend on whether the death was ‘expected’ or not.

The steps involved include:

• Confirmation of death by a medical professional. 
• Documentation (different names in different states) confirming that the person is dead. This is required before a body can be moved.

Assuming a coronial inquest is not necessary...

• If the person has died in a hospital or care facility, their body can be transported to a family home, the home of a nominated community member, or a mortuary
• Body care takes place in the period between death and the ceremony. This process may span several days and can be carried out wherever the person has been placed after death. For more details, read our info sheet on Home Based Death Care
• Body disposal method is confirmed (burial plot is purchased, cremation is booked)
• A death needs to be registered with the State Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages
• Legal permission for body disposal must be obtained using the appropriate state-specific documentation. In the case of cremation, this will generally require as signature from a second independent doctor confirming the death.
• IF a ceremony is chosen, the funeral service or ‘event’ needs to be organised. Like any other event, there are many moving components, however a funeral is usually put together in a short space of time. The ceremony can be large or small, formal or informal, simple or a MASSIVE blow out! It can be anywhere you are permitted to take the body (remember they are dead!) - in a church, a pub, or in your backyard. It can be  conducted by yourself, a celebrant or even your next-door neighbour! Alternatively, you could choose no ceremony at all. No matter which option  you choose there are typically many things to consider.  (See Funeral Planning for a checklist). The body is placed into a coffin, “encoffining”, for transportation to the funeral ceremony (if necessary). 
• The body will need to be transported to the cemetery or crematorium
• Disposal of the body: 

(see our websites on Natural Burial and Shrouded Cremation)

• BURIAL - the coffin/shroud is lowered into the earth and then backfilled. 
• CREMATION - the coffin/shroud is pushed into a retort. The remaining bones are collected, ground down (cremains) and put into a container such as an urn before being collected. It is worth noting that the funeral process for burial and cremation is the same up until the point of disposal. 

NB. In Australia, it is considered that a ‘funeral’ is a ceremony where the body of the deceased is present. If the body of the deceased is not present it is referred to as a ‘memorial’.

 *Please note that NDAN uses the term ‘Family’ to indicate kinship bonds and relationships of mutual love and support.  These relationships may or may not be biological or legally recognised. However, if your family sits outside of the nuclear unit, it is imperative that your advanced care directive and funeral wishes be clearly communicated so that your values are upheld.

If you would like to know more about Family Led Funerals, please refer to the Australian Home Funeral Alliance.

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